Laundry List

A.C.O.A = Adult Children Of Alcoholism. I have done some research into being an ACoA and I found something called the “Laundry List”. This list was adopted into the ACoA world service organization’s official literature. For me it made a lot of little things click in place for me, that I may not have ever connected before. I want to share this laundry list with you and after explain how you can change these traits. This acronym below was created by author John Bradshaw in his book ‘The Family’.

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Reading has always been one of my favorite things to do, books are great escapes. You get drawn into other lives, other places, other times that let you leave your own life behind, even if for a short time. I read books that let me see there were worse things than what I was going through at the time, that I wasn’t alone, even if the story was just fiction.

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Telling His Story

Sometimes writing about my dad makes me feel like I am betraying him. He never wanted people to know his story, so why do I have the right to share it? He was astonishingly good at hiding his “inner demons” from others. Of course he was. Why would you want people to see your flaws? None of us want that, but we all have our flaws. His story is my story, and as much as he needed to hide it, I need to shout it out loud. His story intertwined with mine the day my parents brought me into this world. 

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I had a friend whose house phone number was one digit off from my house phone. We were close friends and grew up in the same neighborhood; we had stayed in touch when I moved away. Well, one night I get a call from her, and she seem frantic. “Hey, so the cops called asking for your mom. I told them they had the wrong number and gave them yours.” As she says this the call waiting beeps come through, I quickly say thanks they are calling now and hang up and switch over. 

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My mom had joined a support group called Al-anon. It’s a support group for adults who are dealing with someone they have in their lives who is an alcoholic. She found a great support group for her to help understand 1.) Alcoholism is a disease 2.) There is support and 3.)How to deal with her situation. With her joining this group she learned there was a group like hers but for teens(Alateen). And she wanted me to go. She thought it would help me understand a little bit more of why my dad was the way he was.

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Picture Perfect Family

Picture Perfect

I always felt when I was younger I had the most picture-perfect family. Two very loving parents, and an amazing big brother. We had family vacations and lots of love. Only that wasn’t really the case. There was a lot of hiding and lying. I can understand it, it was to protect me, but sometimes I wish I was more prepared because when shit hit the fan I felt like my whole world had stopped. 

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All opinions and conclusions are my own. I am not a medical professional and I am not able to provide you with personalized medical recommendations. If you need help, there are many sources of information and places to get help.