I always felt when I was younger I had the most picture-perfect family. Two very loving parents, and an amazing big brother. We had family vacations and lots of love. Only that wasn’t really the case. There was a lot of hiding and lying. I can understand it, it was to protect me, but sometimes I wish I was more prepared because when shit hit the fan I felt like my whole world had stopped.
I had messed up pretty badly. I was drinking, taking pills, stole my Dad’s credit card, and was in a very bad place. In my last post, you’ll read that my Dad gave me quite an ultimatum. Call the cops or outpatient rehab. Obviously I picked rehab, but what my parents didn’t know was that I wanted rehab. I saw myself going further and further down a hole I had no idea how to dig myself out from. I felt like every part of me; my mind, my heart, my body was being swallowed whole into a dark abyss.
When I was in third grade, my parents decided we could get a dog! I was beyond excited!! I picked out all your typical kid dog names such as Spot, Roofus, Shadow, Max, etc. We ended up going to a breeder who bred all labradors. My Dad had said to us “Don’t get too excited we don’t know if we will even leave with a puppy today.” My Dad even went through the bit where he says: “That dog won’t be sleeping in our bed when we get it!” I knew though, I knew we were getting our puppy that day.
My Dad had wanted to move to Florida for a long time. His bones ached from his arthritis, and he wanted to live half here and half down there. Florida had always been apart of our lives. My Grandparents were there, my Uncle was down there, so my Dad decided to rent a cottage right across from the beach in a city called Delray to see if it was somewhere he could see himself.
My brother Austin and I are opposites in a lot of ways. It’s not a bad thing, but it does make it harder for one of us to understand how the other one feels sometimes. I also forget that Austin being ten years older than I wasn’t around for some of the craziness at home. And I went from being his annoying little sister to a super hormonal crazy teenager mad at the world very quickly. In between, we had a lot of good times, but I know I made things a lot harder not just for him, but for everyone.
A.C.O.A = Adult Children Of Alcoholism. I have done some research into being an ACoA and I found something called the “Laundry List”. This list was adopted into the ACoA world service organization’s official literature. For me it made a lot of little things click in place for me, that I may not have ever connected before. I want to share this laundry list with you and after explain how you can change these traits. This acronym below was created by author John Bradshaw in his book ‘The Family’.
I wanted to share this post today since we are all in a time of worry and panic. Sometimes it’s good to have time to reflect and look back on the good moments we have had. AND that we have good moments ahead waiting for us. Today this is a memory of my Dad that made me smile and wanted to share that we can all still smile.
Hey everyone! Today is a little different! Today I want to share a podcast that I recently was on! They talk about mental health, fitness, weight loss, etc! I am honored to have been apart of their podcast and to be able to share my story with them and many others! Follow them as well, they have a lot of amazing podcasts with some amazing people, and share amazing content on their social media! There is so much to keep learning and doing! So today please listen to the podcast below and follow along with my journey on The Lions Breath Movement Podcast 🙂 If you would like to follow them their Instagram is @thelionsbreathmovement .
My Dad had been arrested for drinking and driving. Again. This time it was serious. Don’t get me wrong it’s always serious when you drink and drive. This wasn’t his first OR second time. It was his THIRD! This time his errors came with real consequences. Possible jail time.
I figured today I would share some book quotes I have found along the way that touched me in a way I had to write them down. They touched my heart with either addiction, anxiety, depression, etc. I hope maybe some of these will connect with you all as well.